She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
