Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
