Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
