Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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