fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
