Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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