Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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