if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
