wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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