Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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