The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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