I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
is that a dick in a sweater?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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