were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
