remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
