I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
