hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize