hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
