I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
