Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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