It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
