My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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