No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
