Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
