brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
