Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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