My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You are the jesus of drinking
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
