just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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