Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
