I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
im holly from the hills drunk
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
