Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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