I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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