No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
