this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
3 2 1 whiskey
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
