Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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