just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
