just tell him i said nine months
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize