The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
