I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
