Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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