My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
