you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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