Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
