I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
should my penis look like a turkey
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
