Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
