That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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