This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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