ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
