yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
