Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
