Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
