I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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