I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
please don't ironically join a cult
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