you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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