omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
