The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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