Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize