it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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