She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
