I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
