I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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