New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She bit a glass in half.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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