guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We left an ass print on the piano.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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