I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
