I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
