I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
