Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize