Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
