Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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