playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
