My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
