guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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