We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
