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Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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