Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
