Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
