I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
