Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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